“Oh, Tobey.”

Natalia

”Sorry,” he mumbled.

“You just sneezed in my hair!”

“I didn’t mean to.”

“I just washed it,” I grumbled, not even half-serious.

“I didn’t get anything in it,” he said, chagrined, combing his fingers through the strands of my wet hair.

I cocked my eyebrow, gazing into his naughty puppy-eyed face . . . and couldn’t stifle the grin that came over my own face.

“Give me your soap,” I asked, holding my hand out. “It’s your turn.”

“Ooooooh,” he sighed, and a bar of white Ivory soap slid into my hand.

I started with his forehead, tracing my thumb over the perfectly straight scar above his right eyebrow, down over that funny little nose that was doing it’s crinkly thing, to the scruffy unshaven cheeks, and then the mismatched ears. Tobey leaned back, letting the water hit him straight on in the face for a moment as the soap was rinsed away. Pulling his head from the stream, he gave it a shake and opened those ocean blue eyes, his wet lashes forming little points above them.

And I had to kiss him once again.

It was after one o’clock in the afternoon before we ever left the confines of our suite. Needless to say, we had both worked up quite hearty appetites with the morning’s activities, so in search of food we took the elevator down to the main level of Napua Tower where we found the Grand Dining Room closed for the day.

“I guess we missed the breakfast buffet,” I said, “by about two hours.”

“There’s other restaurants . . .”

“Yeah, what’s that one with the long fish name?” I asked.

“I can’t say it,” Tobey shrugged, “but I think they only serve dinner.”

“Humuhumunukunukuapua'a,” I read from the brochure in my hand, stumbling after the first two syllables.

“Yeah, something like that,” Tobey laughed.

“It’s named after the state fish.”

“Interesting,” he agreed.

“OK, Café Kula is down that way past the Haleakala Wing,” I read from the brochure, “or we can walk out to Bistro Molokini, it’s closer to the beach.”

“Café Kula has vegetarian stuff, I had a sandwich there - ”

“Then let’s go,” I said, and grabbed his hand. I was starving.

“ – when me and Kirsten . . . ”

“Why did you bring Kirsten here?” I asked as we made our way past a group of touristy-looking middle-aged folks decked out in golf shirts.

“Uhhh . . . well I didn’t bring her here, we just came here – together,” Tobey mumbled.

I threw him my raised eyebrow look. Did he really think that “just friends” bullshit would work on me, of all people?

“It was before I knew you!” he squeaked. I still had a firm grip on his hand.

“I know that,” I rolled my eyes, laughing.

“W – well, we were just - ”

“Just friends, right?” I winked at him as we waited for an elevator up to the second floor.

“W-well, basically,” he stammered, “but I was saying, we were just on a vacation, before,” he dropped his voice to a whisper, “Spider-Man wrapped.”

I glanced quickly at the people on the elevator with us as Tobey ducked his head low and stared at my shoulder. A woman on his left had her eyebrow raised, trying to catch a glimpse of him but the man in front of her had his cell phone to his ear and his arm prevented her from seeing anything more than Tobey’s shoulder. Thankfully she didn’t get off on the second floor where we did.

“Tobey, I don’t care that you and Kirsten came here before you knew me,” I explained as we walked to the terrace of the Café Kula. “I just think you’re naïve if you think all of America buys that just friends crap.”

“It’s none of America’s business,” he grumbled.

“Or mine,” I agreed. “I just feel obliged to give you a hard time for it.”

“Thanks.” The sarcasm was thick, but he grinned anyway.

I was so hungry that I wanted to order one of every item on the menu. All the sandwiches and salads sounded so good to me, and the array of pastries displayed behind the glass counter were calling my name. Apparently my system could not handle being foodless for fifteen hours after a long flight and time zone change. I tore my eyes away from the bear claws and croissants in the pastry case and read through the sandwich choices once again. Turkey, tuna, grilled veggie, ham with pineapple, seared mahi-mahi, chicken Caesar . . .

“Are you ready, babes? Hello – earth to Natalia . . . ”

“I’m sorry, I’m thinking,” I said.

Tobey suggested we each choose our own sandwich and one salad to share, which I thought was a wonderful idea.

“What salad do you want?”

“Just pick one that doesn’t have meat or mushrooms,” he said, “I’ll be right back.”

The three bottles of water he’d chugged back in the room had apparently caught up with him. I finally decided on the grilled tuna on Focaccia bread and chose a salad of mixed spring greens with pineapple, orange slices and strawberries and placed our order. Our iced green teas arrived just as Tobey returned from the men’s room.

“Did you bring all those pamphlets and junk with you?” he asked, taking his seat across from me and reaching for his glass.

“Yeah,” I said, tearing my eyes from the tropical gardens just below us. I reached into my beach bag and pulled out a stack of pamphlets and brochures. “The one thing we must do is see the whales.”

Tobey smiled around the straw in his tea. “Whales are cool.”

“They spend the winter here, I have always wanted to see them.”

“Really? I didn’t even know that.”

I nodded, sipping at my own iced tea. “I did a science project about whales when I was in fourth grade or something,” I laughed. “I’ve always wanted to come to Hawaii in the winter to see them.”

“Oh, wow.” The waitress stopped by and refilled Tobey’s tea glass. “Thank you.”

“Why are you so thirsty?” I asked him.

“From flying,” he creaked – I could have sworn he did those things with his voice at will. “The air in the plane cabin is really dry.”

Our food arrived then and none too soon. I was so hungry that even Tobey’s vegetarain “turkey” sub looked tasty.

“What exactly is vegetarian turkey?” I wondered out-loud.

“Soy,” Tobey shrugged, and took a bite.

“Sooo – it’s tofurkey?”

He nodded his head. “That’s actually a brand name, it might be what they use here. Wanna bite?”

I shook my head. “I don’t think so,” I smiled. “We can agree the salad’s good though.”

“Yeah, it is,” he said, “what is that, a raspberry dressing or something?”

“Yeah, it’s so good.”

“Oooh, and almonds.”

For some reason, food always impressed Tobey if it contained nuts.

Once we’d finished our lunch – and finish it we did, every last bite – we headed out to the beach where Tobey rented boogie boards and chaise lounges for our use. He’d called ahead and they were expecting us, greeting him as Mr. Maguire, which made me giggle behind his back. They had two padded chaises that were tucked away under an adjustable umbrella reserved for us, they were close to the water and not near any other chairs or people.

“This is prefect,” Tobey told the cabana boy, “thank you.” Money exchanged hands as the cabana boy was tipped.

“May I bring you anything else, sir?”

Tobey requested some bottled water and I asked for the same when the young man turned to me.

“Right away,” he promised.

“Wow, that’s what I call service,” I said, plopping my bag on the chair.

Tobey sat and kicked off his Nike sandals, then propped his feet up and leaned back.

“Is this enough shade for you?” he asked gesturing to the umbrella.

“I don’t want shade,” I told him, “I want sun.” I maneuvered the umbrella so it was over his chair only. “How’s that?”

“Great.”

I turned back to my bag and pulled out Tobey’s SPF 30 sun block and his cell phone. “Here you go.” Next I reached in for the camera. The sky was a pure azure blue and the ocean before me was a perfect seafoam green near the shore. I had to get this on film. I stood next to Tobey’s chair and took a few ocean shots as his hand wandered up the back of my leg.

“Stop that,” I told him. “You tickle.”

“I wanna see you in that bikini,” he teased, his hand sliding up the leg of my shorts. He new I had on the white and pink bikini under my khaki board shorts and lavender knit top.

“OK,” I relented, turning towards him and snapping his photo quickly.

“Hey, watch it. No shots of the double chin, Nat,” Tobey grumbled, taking the camera from me.

I laughed. “You can’t escape the double chin, Tobes.”

“Thanks to my father,” he grumbled. He reached for the front of my shorts and pulled on the laces.

“Oh, no, you don’t have to do that,” I said, pulling the fly open. “They’re Velcro.”

“Cool.”

I slipped my top off over my head and stepped out of the shorts.

“I dunno, Tobey, I feel sort of self-conscious. I never wore a two piece on the beach before.”

“You look perfect.”

“I think my booty shows,” I said, tugging at the back of the suit.

“Turn around.”

I did so, only to hear Tobey let out a low whistle. “Oh, stop!” I scolded him.

He was laughing. “Just pull it down a little,” he said, “there’s just a little cheekage peeking out.”

“Tobey!”

“Come here,” he laughed.

“You just wanna fiddle with my butt.”

“Yep.”

“I’m calling The Enquirer.”

“Why?” he asked, adjusting the seat of my suit.

“Can’t you see the headlines? Tobey Maguire Fiddles With Future Teacher’s Butt in Maui, photos page three.”

“OK, let me get some photos here of your ass and then you can ring them up.”

I collapsed onto my chaise as we both laughed. The cabana boy brought us our bottles of Evian and we settled back to enjoy our day on the beach.

* * *

Once we’d covered one another in sunblock, it wasn’t long before Tobey stood to remove his white T-shirt and we ventured out to the crystal clean aqua-blue water with our boogie boards. I paddled out on mine, Tobey lagging behind me. Looking over my shoulder, I called to him to get a move on.

“I’m enjoying the view from back here!”

I immediately attempted to adjust the seat of my bikini while still trying to maintain balance on my board, all while Tobey’s laughter rang out behind me. He paddled up closer and was kind enough to lend me a hand with the seat of my suit after I threw him a playfully nasty look.

The waves were calm that New Year’s Day afternoon, as were we. We drifted side by side on our boards, not saying much, but not needing to. I rested my cheek on my board as the sun beat down on my back and Tobey gently smoothed the hair off my forehead. I literally felt as if I hadn’t a care in the world at that precise moment. I didn’t even care about my bikini bottoms anymore.

* * *

Tobey

He gazed into her green eyes as she smiled at him from her boogie board and his heart swelled. Her skin was already taking on a golden hue in the mid-afternoon sun making the golden green flecks in her eyes dance as she winked at him flirtatiously and gave him a little splash. Then she was off, paddling away from him, but he wouldn’t let her get far from his side. He followed right alongside her and reached for her board, meaning to pull it closer to him when he lost his balance and slid under the surf. Her laughter was the first thing he heard when his head resurfaced. He gave her a playful splash in retaliation, but then pulled her off her own board and brought her close. He just couldn’t get enough of this girl, he needed to taste her now and her kiss was soft and wet and sweet and everything he needed. She held his head in her two hands and rubbed his nose with her own as he treaded water for both of them. He had never loved anyone so much or so completely.

It was the best New Year’s Day he’d ever had.

* * *

Natalia

The afternoon had slowly slid by and as the sun had begun it’s descent into the western Maui sky, our stomachs rumbled again with hunger. My skin felt sun-parched and I had sand everywhere. Tobey and I had splashed in the water and basked in the sun all afternoon, enjoying ourselves immensely. It had been the most peaceful day and I couldn’t help but think back to our late morning encounter in the bathroom earlier that day. I hadn’t really known what to think or what to even feel about it until the afternoon began drawing to a close and I realized how at ease with each other we both seemed to be feeling. As if some big wall between us had finally been torn down and we could now truly connect with one another.

I actually felt very pleased with myself and felt as if I’d crossed some big hurdle. I’d built up all these irrational feelings inside and had tortured myself with them, when in the end things had just happened naturally just as Monica had tried assuring me they would. That stinker. How’d she get so smart? I couldn’t help but smile to myself at this. I was feeling so light and carefree and . . . good. It seemed Hawaii certainly did agree with me.

Tobey caught me gazing at him as I pondered all of this during our walk back to the hotel and he smiled the sweetest smile at me. I couldn’t help but notice how happy he looked as well and I returned his infectious grin.

It was a wonderful way to begin the New Year.

Our hotel room was a refreshingly cool oasis after the sticky hours we’d spent on the beach enjoying the sun and surf. Hooray for air conditioning! I was dying for a shower and beat Tobey into the bathroom, giggling as I shoved my way past him and closed the door in his face.

“There’s two bathrooms, you goof!” I called to him from the other side of the door.

The door opened slightly and one large blue eyeball peered in. “Can’t we share?”

“Tobey, I’m full of sand!”

“And I’m not?”

Hands on hips, I contemplated what I could see of his face. He was still peeking in like a naughty little boy. “I meant I want to actually wash,” I explained. “I assume you had other things on your dirty little mind?”

The door opened wider so I could get a full view of his exaggerated shrug. “Soap and water, Nat!”

“Alright,” I grumbled playfully.

It had already been decided that we both would rather stay in again that evening and order room service. I for one still felt weary from the flight, and Tobey knew how crowded most the area restaurants would be considering it was a holiday. We had looked over several pamphlets and a tour guide book while on the beach and had decided on the things we really wanted to do while we were in Maui. Being a holiday, we hadn’t been able to call a few of the attractions seeing as how they were closed. Tobey said he’d call some places first thing in the morning and set up a basic itinerary for our stay. We both felt a quiet evening enjoying room service on the lanai was just what we needed.

The room service cart arrived and like the evening before, the spread was rather grand and overly generous. Which was a good thing, seeing as how sunshine and fresh air and salty surf do something to a person’s appetite. We ate to our hearts’ content as we sat out on the lanai watching the stars twinkling above. The stars looked so big in Maui, almost close enough to touch. Tummy full, I pulled my knees up under my chin and gazed skyward at the spectacular show in the sky.

“Keep watching and you’re likely to spot a shooting star,” Tobey said, pushing a ripe strawberry into my mouth. He’d ordered a fresh fruit plate and a single – but huge - slice of New York cheesecake for our dessert. “There’s millions of them here for some reason.”

“I’ve never seen one,” I mumbled around the strawberry, sending some juice down my chin. “I’ve always wanted to.”

“Just don’t forget to make a wish when you do,” Tobey said, cleaning my chin with his napkin.

I pondered this for awhile, my gaze never leaving the stars above as Tobey fed me cheesecake and fresh pineapple. “I don’t know what I would wish for,” I finally said. “I can’t think of anything.”

“There must be something,” Tobey said, popping a grape in his mouth.

But it seemed like all my dreams had already come true.

As the evening grew late, we retired back into our room. Worn out from the hours of play on the beach, we were both ready to retire early, despite the late hour of our awakening that morning. After brushing my teeth, I crawled into bed under the covers Tobey had already turned down. As Tobey gargled in the bathroom, I set the alarm clock so we wouldn’t oversleep again the next morning. I was comfy in one of Tobey’s white Calvin Klein T-shirts and my baby blue bikini panties as I stretched out under the covers and waited for Tobey to join me. Soon he crawled in next to me and found a spot on my chest for his big old head. He smelled of soap and toothpaste and shaving cream.

“Why did you shave now?” I asked.

“I can’t shave in the morning and then go out in the sun,” he said.

“Oh,” I said. “Y’know, I can’t shave my legs before going out in the sun either, I get bumps.”

“Eww.”

I laughed and ruffled his hair. He was lying with his cheek against the side of my left breast, his nose in my cleavage, and he seemed quite at home there. I held his head in my hands and studied his quiet face.

“Do you know how much I love you?” I asked him quietly.

Tobey gazed at me with those large, lucid eyes and blinked once. “I think so,” he said quietly, his voice soft and raspy all at once.

I lightly kissed his forehead and then his mouth.

“You never got to see your shooting star,” he said quietly.

“No, I didn’t.”

“Maybe tomorrow.”

His eyelids were drooping as I ran my fingers through his hair, rubbing his head. “We should turn out the lights,” I said. “You’re sleepy.”

“No, I’m not.”

“Yes you are, your eyes are trying to close.”

“I’m wide awake, Nat.”

“Did you take your contacts out?”

“Yeah.”

“So you can’t see me?” I teased.

“I can see you fine up close like this.”

I stuck my tongue out at him.

“I saw that.”

I giggled. “Turn out the light, you silly.”

He moved away from me with a groan and switched off the bedside lamp on his side.

“I set the alarm this time so we don’t sleep the day away tomorrow.”

“Good,” Tobey said, his head finding it’s way to my chest again. “What time?”

“Eight-thirty.”

“Mmm-kay.”

I resumed the head massaging I’d been doing and watched as Tobey’s eyes fluttered while he struggled to hold them open. They finally drifted shut and didn’t struggle open again. Soon his lips parted and his breathing deepened and I just continued to watch him like this, tracing his eyebrow with my thumb and planting small kisses on his nose and chin. When he didn’t respond, I knew he was really out. I tried to rouse him enough to move off of me, but his eyes shot open and he insisted he was awake.

“Tobey, stop fighting it,” I laughed. “You’re tired! Go to sleep!” But even as I turned onto my left side, my back to him, I knew what he wanted. He moved against my back and slid his hand under the T-shirt I was wearing.

I rolled to my back and looked at him. “Tobey.”

He just gazed at me and blinked. “I just . . . I thought, you know . . . it was OK.” He blinked again.

I touched his face, loving every detail of it. “It’s OK,” I whispered as I nodded, assuring him. “Come here.” I put my arms around him and pulled him close. “You smell so clean and nice.”

* * *

Tobey

Her kisses pulled him in and he went, feeling as though he were sinking into something, feeling the pull of her lips as her tongue gently found his. He needed this, he craved this, he couldn’t get enough. This was different though. It wasn’t just the sheer physical need, the yearning for release. No. He needed that connection, he hungered for contact with her. Physical contact and more. He wanted her arms around him and her body close, but that alone wouldn’t be enough. This hunger was overwhelming. He needed to feel loved.

Her hands roamed up and down his back, along his spine and over his ribs. His muscles began to quiver and tremble. A small whimper escaped his throat as the trembling took over, almost making his teeth chatter. His stomach and his arms shook uncontrollably and it was all he could do to just breathe.

“You’re shaking,” Natalia whispered, her hands on his arms now, as if she were trying to help steady him. “Are you OK?” she asked, touching his cheek.

“Yes,” he breathed, sliding a hand under the T-shirt she was wearing. He was still quivering; he needed to feel her skin. “I just - ”

“OK,” she said softly, helping him to remove the clothing from her body.

“Is that my T-shirt you’re wearing?” Tobey asked, momentarily distracted.

“Not anymore.” She had slipped it over her head and now embraced him fully, her breasts warm against his skin.

It was enough to start the trembling all over again and he shook as she pulled him closer. A large sigh escaped him as he buried his face in her hair and nuzzled her neck. This was what he needed, this is where he belonged. She was sliding his boxers off of him and he couldn’t even help. He didn’t even care. He just wanted hold onto her as tightly as he could.

She moved against him, working him up and his hands began to wander and roam her body too, he couldn’t get enough, he wanted everything. She arched her back and rose up against him as her mouth found his, and he was spinning, falling under her spell as she took control and brought him in. She wrapped her arms and legs around him, holding onto him the way he wanted her to. He was helpless and lacking but she was there and she knew. She knew just how much he needed her.

* * *

Natalia

I laid awake for awhile that night with Tobey sleeping quietly near me, never moving from my side. When I would shift or move to another position, he was right there, even in his sleep, needing that contact. I smoothed back the hair that had fallen over his forehead and watched him sleeping, thinking of that conversation we’d had on his bed the night before we left LA. I’d seen something that night that he’d never shown me, that I was fairly certain he’d never really shown anyone. The hungry, wounded inner child who needed to be wanted and loved. Tobey’s words from that night replayed again and again in my head.

“But when I was five, six years old, I just felt like maybe I was in the way and no one really wanted me.”

I had worked with children that age, I knew how those feelings could so deeply affect a child. The words tore at my heart as the replayed in my mind. Impacted by what I knew of Tobey’s childhood – the constant moves, the new schools – I could only imagine the insecurities this had all built. He’d told me he’d stopped trying after awhile, it became too painful to leave friends behind, so he had stopped making them. In each new town, each new setting, he was always the outsider, never fitting in or feeling a sense of belonging. Always the new kid, never staying in a particular school for more than a few months.

This had been his childhood, and in his adolescence he had finally found an outlet: acting. Wendy had been successful in persuading him to take a drama class one year in school and soon he was auditioning for commercials and bit parts on TV sitcoms. Making the audition rounds he would often see the same group of kids auditioning for the same commercials, the same TV shows. In getting to know this group of child actors – Leo among them – Tobey had finally, in his teens, found a circle of friends. The same group of friends he’d had filling his house at Christmas.

They were a tight group of former child actors, each finding their own level of success in the cutthroat world of Hollywood. Leo had become the heartthrob, attaining a crazy amount of fame early on. Tobey had become the quiet, sensitive young actor who gained attention in the small independent films he took roles in, garnering much attention from critics and directors, but not so much from the American public.

But in the coming months, there was good reason to believe this would all change for him. In four months, Spider-Man would be released and then what? I had to wonder how much that would change his life, and ultimately – would it change him? Concern began to fill my head as I realized this was undoubtedly weighing on Tobey’s mind the last few weeks as well. I knew outwardly, he claimed to take things in stride and said he’d deal with whatever came his way the best he could. I knew that was true, but still – he was facing a certain amount of pressure that was certain to build over the next few months.

Big changes were ahead. For both of us, I resolved.

Sleep felt completely unattainable now. I turned to my right side and Tobey again shifted against me in his sleep, as if he couldn’t quite get close enough. Even in his sleep he was clingy. I pulled his head to my shoulder, more than willing to hold him closer and he mumbled something almost unintelligible in his sleep.

“I love you too,” I whispered in his ear. And finally, sleep found me.